First comes Love, then comes Marriage, then comes . . .

A baby in Baby Carriage! O.K. not quite yet in our lives, but it’s certainly a bigger possibility now than it was a month ago. You see a month ago, after much discussion, meetings with doctors, and a hellish month prior to that Alex and I decided that I would quit taking birth control. So in effect while we are not Trying to get pregnant, we are not Not Trying to get pregnant. Ohhh the English scholar in me just shivered at that double negative!

All of the above has led to a number of realizations:

  1. Despite all of those claims about how “The Pill” can clear your skin, calm your moods, shorten your cycle, earn you millions, and solve world hunger (ok ok, not the last two, but the rest of ‘em are claims) turns out….not true for me. I have had HORRIBLE (think surgery people!) acne for years. Worst teenagers nightmare turned into worst nightmare for the rest of my freaking life! Only, hey once I got off of this magical pill, I have the smoothest skin I’ve had since I was 12. Also, mood swings….that was the whole “Month From Hell” noted above. Ask Alex, he had to live with me AND pretend to love me through all that. And give the she-monster I became back-rubs, retrieve ice-cream, and in general deal with the absolute worst temper swings you’ve ever seen in a non-pregnant woman. The last part I can kind of agree with, but all in all I have a message for all you medicine makers: What the heck?!?! Were you trying to break up my marriage in six months or less? I mean, I’m pretty insane and all, and there are days even I start to wonder what the hell Alex sees in me, but seriously? Seriously?!?!?!
  2. Alex and I also went through the realization that “Holy Crap, We’re adults???” You would think the whole living together, marriage, and you know house buying bits would have started us to at least contemplate that we might actually be the ever elusive “Adult” but nope. Not us….Obviously we are in denial. This has led to a great deal of “What If. . .” discussions. It’s that dot-dot-dot that scares us the most. Oh and the whole RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING thing.
  3. That this in fact was the biggest decision we’ve ever made together. Forget marriage, that was a piece of cake compared to the possibilities that are inevitable now. It’s just a matter of time . . . Does anyone else here the Jaws music?

Having said all that, last night Alex went off with my brother to do manly stuff (i.e. move shit around and eat out) while my mom and I went and had margaritas! Because she’s a responsible Pastor. HAHAHA Or she was once she had to thrust the drink in my direction because people she knows came into the restaurant. Love ya Momma! When I mention the horrible snafu Alex made to me the other night.

Stephanie: Mom, last night while we are sitting at the kitchen table and I am drinking a class of milk, Alex looked at me and went “Hey Preggers!” Does he not know what this means?!?! Does he not get that I am feeling the drama of going UP in sizes and weight and hip width and just Oh My God Mom!

Stephanie’s Mom: Well Sweetie, no he doesn’t. He’s a man. Sides you know what that means right?

Stephanie: Um, no? He thinks I’m fat?

Stephanie’s Mom: laughing No no no. It means he’s got the bug! He thinks about you pregnant. Heck he’s even made comments around our house.

Stephanie: Jaw dropped, eyes wide, brain whirling at the fact that he actually HAS thought about all this Oh. Huh. Yea I don’t know what to say to that. I mean we’ve talked about the possibility… but Huh.

This was followed by my drink being finished rather quickly.  Later that night while at home I asked Alex about all of this.

Stephanie: Hey honey, my mom thinks you are thinking about me being pregnant. Are you?

Alex: nonchalantly looks over at me, Well yea, I think you would be cute . . . . . .  for about 6 months.

THIS is what I live with people. I thought guys were supposed to be afraid of babies. I thought guys were supposed to be afraid of marriage. Go figure I went and found the one guy out there who not only brought up marriage two (yes that is right people, I said 2, two, dos, you get the idea) months into dating. And you people thought it was all me. HA!


One response to “First comes Love, then comes Marriage, then comes . . .

  1. I cannot win – comment people, comment!