There are few people I respect more than my parents. I respect both in different ways, but I have always been (and always will be) a Daddy’s Girl. Case in point was my mom’s nickname for me when I was younger….Booger face if I recall correctly. My dad called me (and still does) his Pumpkin. (Which, when you realize he was born on Halloween makes just a tad more sense.)
Now normally I go to my mom for relationship, health, etc advice, but when it comes to Alex and I’s decision to start having children I went to my dad. Why you ask? Well mostly because when my mom is handed a baby her face almost always resembles this…
…before quickly passing along the child to the nearest hands, be they adult or not. Just as long as they are not hers! So when I was told our decision to have children sooner (next year or so God willing) rather than later by various friends and even strangers was stupid, rushing things, unwise given how little money we make (and we do quite well given the lack of debt, and owning of a house, etc thank you very much), and how we would regret moving so quickly, be shocked at everything, and how our relationship would be OVER PEOPLE OVER!!! Well, to say the least I got disheartened. How would you feel if you researched a trip to Europe, plotted, planned, and did everything you could to prepare knowing that some things you just can’t prepare for and then…when you went to book the trip everyone told you all of those mean, nasty things? Just horrible I bet!
So I went to my dad, and I asked him “Are we crazy??” And my dad, being the smart, wonderful, wise man that he is sent me this:
“No you are not crazy and no you don’t have to make $100k to be happy. Tons of kids go to public school and are fine (private school is not a necessity for kids to succeed). Tons of kids come from “average” neighborhoods where not everybody has a pool in the back yard and each kid has their own room.
Yes your lives will be changed. Yes you will have some really shitty moments (no diaper pun intended). But the good times far outweigh the bad. Watch Alex’s face the 1st time he sets eyes on his first child or hold and feeds him/her. You will see a love that cannot be measured or duplicated any other way. Think how you are going to feel the first time your child utter something even close to momma. Think of how you’ll feel when you got to the 1st grade play at the local school and your kid is a tree or a bush or a carrot. You’ll beam ’cause that’s your baby.
Don’t ever feel that you have to give up on parenthood just because you can’t keep up with the Jones’. If you look closely you’ll see that they (the Jones’) are probably miserable and can’t figure out what so good about all this “parent” stuff and you’ll be sitting at home watching TV next to your spouse rocking baby (#2) while Alex helps #1 child with home work…..
There is no money or things in the world that I would take to replace the years with you kids….. “
That my friends, is a pep talk. That is also why I know that Alex and I will be just fine. Because we have family like that and like Alex’s Aunt & Uncle who so generously remind us they are wonderful babysitters and look forward to have a grand-niece or nephew. (So much so that the jeep fabric for a baby blanket is already being sought. LOVE IT!!!!) That is what makes me look forward to our future. Bless you family. Bless you.