The Quiet Courtship

In these quiet moments before the night
softens the mountains of the South
and deflates the clouds
that float beneath their peaks,
the dying sun’s rich, peach glow
deepens in the gathering gloom

Excerpt from “In These Quiet Moments” by Ivan D. Carswell

One of things we do to reconnect as a couple is have dinner together. We cherish this time because in all the years (a whopping three and a half….and holy cow did time fly!) we’ve been together, we’ve only really been able to eat dinner together consistently for the last four months. So last night after Alex cooked…AGAIN…we were debating between playing our fun new video game or perhaps going for a walk.

As the pouring rain of storms cooled the sweet Georgia air down to a rather reasonable 80 degrees rather than the 110 it was earlier, (with a nice steam bath factored in due to the pavement drying) we decided to go for a walk. The best part, it was still drizzling so it was just the two of us. I was able to jump in the puddles & Alex was able to declare that his wife was still a five year old. We were able to re-connect. Something as simple as a quiet walk for the two us allowed us to share our day away from distractions of laundry, dishes, television, and our Wii.

I think that one of the hardest lessons you face as a couple as time passes is finding ways to reconnect. When you see a person every day and you share the boring, the mundane, the “why on earth do we have to do this Mommy” moments that it’s important to separate yourself from all of that. I try to ask Alex how his day was when I come home, and he does the same to me, but work is boring. Work is pretty much the same routine day in and day out so telling someone how our day went is like asking if I drove a different route to and from work today. Big deal type information. I’d rather here about that way cool NASCAR wreck or perhaps the entirely new season of GLEE! New information not same ol’ same ol’. Yet, when you take a step back away and you place yourselves in a quiet environment it’s so much easier to share. Suddenly your day isn’t “just work. Same as always.” Its, “I had a good day, but I felt like I was able to get a lot accomplished.” You are able to reconnect. Some people choose to go on vacations together (I wish!) as a way to reconnect, others work out. Some couples just go to the grocery store with each other. It’s all dependant on your couple “style.” No matter how you do it, taking the step to reconnect is vital to maintaining a healthy relationship. Just like you take time with your friends, you need to do the same thing with your spouse! Just because you got married doesn’t mean you shouldn’t date. So find a way to “date” your spouse and share those quiet moments.

So tell me, how do you reconnect with your significant other?


4 responses to “The Quiet Courtship

  1. Ugh. We need to do more reconnecting. Your walk sounds delightful, steam bath and all!

  2. Sounds like wonderful time together. Before little ones, the Mrs. and I hiked just about every day after work. We enjoyed the time together immensely.