For anyone newly married, I’m sure one of the hardest lessons you’re learning is how to handle the change of dynamics in friendships. Why that little piece of paper that says you are legally bound to another makes such a huge difference is beyond knowledge, but it sure does!
Alex and I often struggle, myself more so than him, on safely navigating our personal friendships, our couple friendships, and how we handle each other’s friendships. Its almost like walking a tight rope!
In fact, this friendship thing has been one of my own biggest struggles. In part because I have a social butterfly for a husband (no seriously, the man will talk the bark off a tree. ASK ANYONE) and partly because in moving to where we live Alex had many friends in the area. I did not. Not to mention, so far no married couples bars where I can go meet new friends. Nor dating websites for friends. In fact, not a lot exists for “just friends” especially of the female to female variety. So in an effort to reach out I’ve started trying to reconnect with friends from high school.
Saturday night, we had the lovely and fun couple of L and D come over. Aren’t they gorgeous?
Yes they are! Any-who, we had them come over for a delicious meal and some chitchat. Which was a ton of fun and very encouraging in that just because Alex and I went and got married doesn’t mean we can’t still date other couples. Because really, that’s what you do as a couple. You look for that “dating” couple that everyone gets along with everyone. That the women can do their thing while the men do theirs, and that you can well . . .Date. (and here you were thinking you were out of the whole dating game. HA! That’s a trick married couples like to play so others will get married and fall into THEIR dating pool. Pretty smart eh?) The night progressed with much reminiscencing between L & myself while D got to know Alex and myself and us him. Then we grilled out had dinner and talked more. With no lags in conversation I would judge this one successful date! And just like any other successful date, we made plans to do this again at their house once they had a chance to clean. Something I had just done to my own house that very morning! The only downfall about all this is they live in a city about an hour and a half from Alex and I. Makes it hard to grab coffee on the whim, but we shall persevere because they are too fun not too! Hi L and D!
As time continues on I’ll seek more ways to find new friends in the area. Maybe by going to the local coffee shop with a sign saying “Open for Friendships”? No? Too desperate? Well I’ll come up with something. Does anyone out there have any ideas?
Wait….if I do that, I’ll have to clean house more. Oh shoot. Clean house vs More Friends. Gosh. I sure hope I meet super nice friends, otherwise I’m not cleaning the house just because they are coming over. But then again, the best of friends don’t mind 🙂